A humble attempt to document life and all its eccentricities

Monday, October 27, 2008

The most isolated city in the world.


Australia and I had our three month anniversary the other day. It was nice. I decided to spend it in Perth. I don't usually make the trek into Perth unless there's something big going on there or I feel like being alone. It takes about 40 minutes to get there and that's if you manage to time it right and catch the bus and train, whereas it only takes 25 minutes to get to Fremantle from campus. Perth is a great city though. All the people I've met in the city have been so nice and helpful. I think it's because of Perth's claim to fame of being 'the most isolated city in the world'. The tourism industry isn't as big here as in other places of Australia, so people here aren't sick of giving directions or answering stupid questions asked by outsiders. Usually when I talk to people I get questions like "Oh, where in the States are you from?" or "How long are you here for?". Even the cashier at Kmart will say something when he/she hears my accent. Which brings me to another thing...some people actually enjoy American accents here. Personally, I think my accent is a little bland. Plus, the people here have been hearing American accents forever, in movies, music, television, news reports. I figured they'd be tired of them by now. I met this Aussie girl in one of my classes and we got to talking about accents and she said that whenever there's Americans in her classes she can't pay attention because she just listens to them talk the entire time.

I had the last tutorial for one of my classes today. It was my Global Media class, which sucks because it was my favorite class. The class itself was a big eye opener for me. It's so fascinating to study globalization in another country, especially one so influenced by America like Australia is. The class was made up of a ton of different nationalities. About half were Aussies, but the other half were made up of myself ("token American" which I was actually referred to as during class. "Can we get the opinion of the token American?" in reference to Fox News.), Malays, and Singaporeans. I've learned so much about the world and the media in that one class. The discussions we had during tutorials were incredible.

Anyway, back to Perth. On our anniversary I decided to walk up to Kings Park by myself. It was a beautiful day and I just took my time walking through the massive park. Situated on a tall escarpment, Kings Park is a part of Perth history. It's half beautiful gardens and scenic views of the skyline and half protected bushland. You could spend an entire day following the trails in the park. I read a plaque that said that when the area was inhabited by only the Nyungar Aboriginal people, they hunted by chasing groups of kangaroos off the steep cliffs of the escarpment where Kings Park sits. Pretty clever way of hunting, no need for weapons, gravity does the work for you. After I had my fill of beauty courtesy of Kings Park I took the train back, made myself dinner and drank some coffee. Perth and I had a great day together on our anniversary. I only have a month left here so I've got to make it count.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Heaps and heaps of Aussie slang, I reckon.


I really love accents and regional slang. Ask anyone who knows me. So when I found out I was going to Australia I was so pumped because I really wanted to pick up on some slang of the land down under. Now, in the academic sense, there is little differentiation between American English and Australian English (besides a few spelling changes like 'color' to 'colour' and 'organization' to 'organisation'...speaking of I'm taking a globali(z/s)ation course here and had to write a paper on media globali(z/s)ation. I forgot to changes the Zs to Ss and got lots of red marks, oh well. Oh, one more thing, the letter Z isn't pronounced 'Zee', it's pronounced 'Zed'. How random is that?). However, some of the spoken Australian dialect can be hard to decipher, especially when they talk fast. Most of the language here seems to say 'just get on with it'. Aussies don't have time to muddle around with grammar or proper sentence structure, or even real words. Here's a quick run down of some typical words thrown out in an everyday conversation. I'll give them in a sentence too, like in a spelling bee.

Trolley: Shopping Cart "Little Billy, bring me a trolley so we can stock up on meat pies and Vegemite.'

Heaps: Tons or A lot "Oi! There's heaps of fun things to do in Perth."

Eh?, Yeah?, Hey?: Punctuation to almost any sentence "Homework sucks, hey?"

No worries: No Problem "No worries! We've got plenty of goon for this weekend!"

Goon: Boxed wine "This goon is eating away my stomach lining."

Ace!: Awesome! "This Vines concert is going to be so ace!"

Bloke: Man "Which is the men's bathroom?" "The one that says 'blokes'"

Tosser: Wanker "That (bleep)ing tosser just dumped his beer on me!"

Dobber: Tattle-tale "That stinking dobber told the lecturer I was cheating."

Knackered: Tired "After a night out in Freo all I want is a kebab and a warm bed cause I'm so knackered."

Cheers: Thank you "Nobody's every told me how much they like my smile, cheers."

Brick shit house: Badass Mo Fo "My friend walked into a biker bar and got his ass kicked by a total brick shit house."

Yonks and Yonks: Years and Years "It's been yonks and yonks since I watched a footy game."

Pom: British person "That anchor on the ABC doesn't sound Australian, he's a pom!"

Bogan: Aussie white trash "Kath and Kim is the epitome of bogan culture"

Good Onya: Job well done "You just finished your essay? Good onya!"

The overall shortening of words:

Cottesloe: Cott
Fremantle: Freo
Rottnest: Rotto
Thanks: Ta
Subiaco: Subi
University: Uni

Everyone has at least one nickname here as well. Sometimes two or three. It goes along with the whole shortening of names. Most of them end in 'zza' or the letter O. So like Jerome becomes 'Jezza' and Courtney becomes 'Courto'. Mine would be hard since my name is already one syllable, plus Luko just sounds weird.

So try and use some of these words in your everyday speech and see if anyone notices. If they do try and pull off an Aussie accent and call them 'mate'. If that doesn't work, just walk away.

Friday, October 10, 2008

I guess this is the formal introduction...

Since I was recently incorporated into the UIS Blogger club, I guess I should formally introduce myself. My name is Luke Runyon. I'm no good at this whole 'describe yourself' thing so my good friend Howard Kang has made it a tad bit easier. Here's his questions answered my me.


1) Why did you choose your major?
Well, this was actually a pretty easy decision for me. I'm terrible at Math and Science so that ruled out roughly half my choices. I've always been interested in broadcasting and mass media so Communication seemed to be the best way to explore those further.

2) What are your plans post-graduation?
I'm currently looking into public radio internships for this upcoming summer. In an ideal world I could straight into radio production or even be a presenter for awhile. However, the media industry can be a difficult field to break into so we'll see what happens.

3) What's the last non-textbook you read?
It's called 'Survivor' by Chuck Palahniuk, the same guy who wrote 'Fight Club'. It's a really great book about a man who was part of a cult who inevitably killed themselves but he stayed around for awhile to cash in in the media on being the last known survivor of this cult.

4) What's the last movie you watched?
Pulp Fiction actually. A couple of my flatmates had never seen it and I was appalled so I quickly went to this library and rented it.

5) What's the last thing you watched on TV?
It's this really trashy Australian soap opera called 'Neighbours'. We watch it mostly for the cringe-worthy acting and ridiculous story lines.

6) What's you favorite thing about being at UIS?
Well, I'm not currently at UIS but I'm looking forward to being in close proximity to all of my friends again. Plus the gym here in Australia pales in comparison to TRAC.

7) What's at the top of your iTunes playlist right now?
Technically the song I play most is 'Let's Make Love and Listen to Death from Above' by CSS. But the bands I've been playing constantly for two weeks are MGMT and Passion Pit.

8) What's one guilty pleasure you have?
80s music. I know it's not good. But it's so bad it's good.

9) Where's the best place you've ever traveled & why?


I've seen so many beautiful places since I've been here in Australia. My favorite has probably been Karijini National Park in Western Australia. It felt like I was in a dream the entire time I was there.




10) Create your own question.
I'll go the same philosophical route as Howard and pose the question: How?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

'The best $720 I ever spent' or 'The Outback Adventures of Scragglebeard'

September 26th to October 5th were the best ten consecutive days I've ever had. The Northwest Trip into the heart of Western Australia was one of the best experiences of my life. The trip is organized and partly sponsored by Murdoch International, meaning that the only people allowed to attend are international students here at Murdoch. And since I qualified in that regard, and the price tag for a 10 day, all inclusive trip into the wild Australian outback was only a measly $720, I decided to take them up on their deal. God, I'm so glad I did.

Since it's kind of daunting task to describe every single detail about this trip I'll give you the basics and then the details from each of the days on the trip. It should be a good time for all.

So the whole trip started at Murdoch at 8am and first took us along the coast of Western Australia, mostly though coastal tourist towns. We stayed at Lynton Station, Hamelin Pool, and Coral Bay. After we got sick of regular old beach sand and beautiful clear blue water, we made our way into the heart of the West Australian outback in a region known as the Pilbara. We stayed at Karijini National Park for 2 nights and then made our way back to Perth by staying in the mining town of Newman for one night and Wogarno Sheep Farm the other. We made it back to Perth around 3pm on the last day. Now the details:

Day 1: After spending all day in the bus trying to get as far north as we could before sunset, we arrived at Lynton Station. It is an old convict camp from Australia's rough and tumble days. There was a huge hill looming over the camp so without regard to snakes, spiders, or the ghosts of old convicts, we all climbed the hill to watch the sunset. Such an amazing view of the Indian Ocean. Our guide told us a story of a student on a previous trip who walked up the same hill we did, at four in the morning and couldn't find his way back. He was wandering for an hour before a local farmer picked him up and took him back to camp. Let's just say that was a deterrant to going anywhere at night. Not to mention there's something called a 'coastal death adder' that doesn't exactly sounds too friendly. Sadly, the sunset was almost entirely covered by clouds. It's ok though, cause we all played spoons after dinner and I won.

Day 2: Spent a lot of this day driving, but we did see a lot of really cool stuff. Along the coast there were these huge cliffs close to the town of Kalbarri. We could see humpback whales migrating off the coast and the waves hitting the sides of the cliffs were massive. Such a beautiful stop here. Then we headed off the Kalbarri National Park which is like the Grand Canyon, but a more tame version. Beautiful red rocks and a river running through it. The road to get there was intense though. It was pretty much dirt, gravel, and large rocks on the road for a good 30km. Somehow people still slept on the bus even though it was vibrating the entire time. We got to Hamelin Pool right before sunset, set up tents, and immediately started drinking. It was good though because we played an ice breaker, you know. Name, home country, and most embarrassing moment. Then we did 'cheers' after everyone. So much fun, plsu we all got to know each other's names. I did the story about when I threw a chicken wing on Bridget Lawless at Gorman's.

Day 3: I saw dolphins! We drove to Monkey Mia and spent the whole day on this beautiful beach in Shark Bay. I didn't get chosen to feed the dolphins but my flatmate Carly did. There was a baby dolphin so no one was able to go in the water right by the dolphins. Oh well, they probably smelled like fish anyway. A bunch of us all hired ocean kayaks and paddle boats and went out into the water though. Incredibly blue, beautiful, clear water. I saw a sting ray at the bottom of the ocean floor. After Monkey Mia we stopped off at Eagle Bluff to look for sharks. No shark, but I did cut my foot on a rock, yeah! That's what I get for wearing flip flops on a rocky cliff. After Eagle Bluff we went to Shell Beach, which is exactly how it sounds. A beach with no sand, only small cockle shells. Very surreal. Camp was so fun tonight. The Americans taught the Germans Circle of Death. I felt bad though, a lot of it is word games and English isn't their first language. No mercy though.

Day 4: Best morning so far. We stopped at this tiny roadhouse in the middle of nowhere that had a small bakery. Got an apple strudel...so amazing. We didn't have much driving to do so we got to our place for the next two nights at 3pm, it was this old sheep farm with bunkhouses. We even had a patio with chairs and a fire pit. The guides took us to this amazingly secluded beach with huge waves and really soft sand. There was no one else for miles. We swam and sun bathed for hours. When the sun went down the beers came out and everyone just enjoyed each other's company for a long time. Monty brought a backgammon board and I was so pumped! I haven't played on an actual board since I've been here. I was having withdrawals. I played five games and won every one of them. I even got $5 out of one of the guys. A very good night indeed.

Day 5: Went snorkeling in Coral Bay today. Even though the town is quite touristy I forgot all about it once we got out into the reef in the glass bottom boat. I had never been snorkeling before (not too many places to go in Illinois) and it was incredible. The reef was made up of so many interesting things. A lot of these huge plants that looked like heads of cabbage and trees without leaves. Every now and then one of them would be neon blue. The fish we saw were intense. I think I saw at least half the cast of Finding Nemo. As I was coming onto the boat, the driver was feeding snapper fish and I accidentally put my hand on one. It bit my hand and actually broke the skin. Damn boat driver. We found the only bar in Coral Bay after snorkeling and enjoyed a pint.

Day 6: Our guide, Al, was like a big grumpy bear the entire trip. I mean, he does a ton of these trips for loud, obnoxious college students all the time. We were his 25th trip. Every morning at 6am (sometimes even 5:45) he would walked around and yell 'Wakey wakey!', 'Time to get up!', 'Up by 6 gone by 7'. A very punctual man that's for sure. Today we drove...all day. We had to go like 800km in one day. The only stops we made were long drop toilets in the middle of the outback. We got to Karijini National Park just before sunset. The dirt there was blood red. It's because of the iron ore in the ground that rusts when it rains. The temperature at night was incredible. I skipped sleeping in a tent and slept under the stars. Since Karijini is so secluded there's no running water anywhere. We had to use a long-drop toilet. Here's my first encounter with one: Nature called. I walk to long drop toilet after sunset with flashlight. Enter toilet. Shine flashlight on toilet. I count six cockroaches in and around bowl of toilet. Mental block against 'number two' ensues. I decide to wait until the visitor's centre tomorrow afternoon.

Day 7: Went to the first gorge of Karijini in the morning. It was called Hancock gorge and it was incredibly beautiful. After hiking down inside the gorge we trek along, stopping only to take pictures. We came to a large open area of the gorge that looked like a natural amphitheater. After filling up our water bottles in the clear, perfect water in the waterfalls, we entered the Spider Walk. It's a very narrow section of the gorge with a slippery stream running through it. The best way to traverse it is to spider walk through it with both feet and hands holding on to the rock. So awesome. Only a few people fell. It emptied onto a pool of water in the shadow of the gorge with cliffs on each side. It was called Kermit's Pool. We all took turns jumping into the water, which was the perfect temperature. After about a half hour of cliff jumping we headed back out to another pool in a different gorge. We drove to the pool and it was stunning. It was called Circular Pool in Dales Gorge. It was a giant green pool of water surrounded by black, algae covered rocks with water falls. Standing underneath the waterfalls was just like walking into a warm shower. Again we found cliffs to jump in from. This time a lot higher than at Kermit's Pool. There were other people down there and we quickly became the entertainment by jumping off these cliffs. The water here was so pleasant. After we had our fill of swimming and jumping we went back to camp and I slept under the stars again. I learned this the next day but I was sleep talking. I was next to Craig and and woke up and asked him how to find the Southern Cross. Then, when asked if I was sleep talking I replied with a defensive 'no' and mumbled something about the Southern Cross and went back to sleep. The Outback makes me crazy!

Day 8: Saw a dingo while I was brushing my teeth today! I alerted most of the camp. After breakfast we went to the most beautiful place in the world. Fern Pool. It was stunningly beautiful. The water was like a pane of green glass. Two waterfalls only made it that much more picturesque. If only I could wake up like that everyday, with a 2 hour swim in gorgeous freshwater. We were literally in paradise. If there weren't so many people around it would've been the best place in the world to go skinny-dipping. I have to go back sometime in my life. After Fern Pool we walked a bit to Fortescue Falls. It was nice, but anything after Fern Pool was just a disappointment. We sunbathed and again found more cliffs to jump off. In the afternoon we left Karijini for the long trek back to Perth. I sobbed for hours in mourning of Karijini. We got to our stop for the night, a caravan park in the mining town of Newman. When I opened my tent back to set it up for the night, the world's largest spider was just chilling in there. I proceeded to scream like a girl and jump around. Our guide Craig (the human embodiment of the term 'badass') then picked up said spider and chucked away from camp. Then went back to his business while I was still peeing my pants. Kudos Craig. The night wore on and people got significantly more inebriated. So much so that I was christened with a new nickname. Because of my 'mountain man' like beard and relative uncleanliness, I was given the title of Scragglebeard. Not to mention a whole premise for a TV sitcom involving me, Scragglebeard, and my trusty sidekick, Frank the Friendly Dingo. We solve crime.

Day 9: Woke up outside, somehow. Newman was a crazy night. As we were putting our tents away we noticed two gentlemen watching our camp from a bunkhouse close by. Our Murdoch Rep, a friendly man named Martin, sauntered over to them and made conversation. The two gentlemen were miners who had taken a liking to the females in our group of young travelers. Said they were very beautiful, and if they were willing, would very much like to have relations (my word, not theirs) with one or many of them. Apparently the way the mines work is that men go to work there for 3 weeks, with other men. Then they come to Newman for a week off. Let's just say the women in Newman are hard to come by. Our girls were not impressed with the miners and therefore did not take them up on their offer. After leaving Newman were on the road from dawn til dusk. Got to our final stop for the trip. A sheep farm in the middle of the Outback. We picked the right night because there was a music festival going on. We had dinner and headed over to the shearing shed to watch the bands. There was a trio of percussionists first, but the main event was Dr. Robin Fox who did experimental electronic music. He had a green laser that moved in sync with his beats. The fog machine only added to the trippy-ness. A truly amazing and surreal experience.

Day 10: Our trip finally came to an end. Made it back to Murdoch around 3:30 in the afternoon. It was sad to say goodbye to our buses, guides, new friends and all we had left was pictures and memories. If it was that hard to leave the Northwest, I can't even imagine how hard it will be to leave all of Australia.